Read Reflections

Supporting and strengthening opportunities for the next generation of extraordinary people

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No words can express the sorrow I feel,
To lose you in my life, I will never heal.
I look at our son and thank God everyday,
He looks just like you and acts the same way.
There was no better gift given to me,
Than to have been married to you for eternity.
You have given me everything a woman could want,
A man to love her with all of his heart.
I love you my dear, and don't ever fear,
For you will never be forgotten,
Frankie and I will forever hold you near.
Love, your wife,

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When I close my eyes, I see my brother Steven as a small child. Although we were years apart, Steven was such a joy to be with that we spent hours playing together. Steven would throw his little body against me in whatever game we could dream up - couch football, hallway basketball, kung-fu fighting, etc. Once, while Steven was riding on the cross-bar of my bicycle, he decided to swing his foot into the front wheel. As we were tossed head first into the air, I grabbed him and pulled him close to my chest to protect him. We flipped over, landing on our backs - Steven on my chest. For a split second, we were quiet, until Steven let out a burst of laughter, as if he wanted to do it again. While still staring into the sky while lying on our backs in the street, we made a pact not to tell. I don't know why this story is so relevant to me. It could be because we were so physically and emotionally close, or because I could protect him for that instant.

Steven's son, Frankie, shares Steven's incredibly joyful disposition. Steven was robbed of so many joys of Frankie and Frankie was robbed of Steven. Seeing what Steven left in Frankie is too painful for the thought to remain in one's mind too long. I only hope that Steven knew that I and many others will always be there for his son.

Steven showed his quiet courage during the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center by helping a pregnant stranger down over 100 flights of stairs. However, that '93 attack would not stop Steven from living his life like the hero he was.

My nephew Steven and I went to the Jets game together on Sunday, September 9th,, as we had done together for the past 10 years. We sat in our usual section and laughed as we always did when we were together. At the end of the game we hugged and left each other, saying we would see each other soon.

On Tuesday, September 11th, we both went to work in the World Trade Center, Tower 1. I worked on the 26th. floor and Steve was on the 105th. We were both goverment securities brokers working for competing firms. When the first plane hit our building, we all were momentarily in shock but managed to scramble down the stairs and out of the building.

Steven was the most loving person I ever had the pleasure to know. I was able to spend a great deal of time with him when he was a young boy and I watched him grow into a fantastic young man. We became best friends and he brought much joy to our family. I was his Godfather and he was my daughter's Godfather. He loved people, especially the children. The kids would always love to see him. Steven brought happiness to everyone He came in contact with. We are going to continue to hold the Jet season tickets so that one day in the years to come, I will be able to bring a young boy named Frankie, Steve's 18 month old son, to a game and share some laughs with another great person. The word Hero is used very frequently in this world to describe atheletes or others, but Steven was our Hero. His family and friends will never forget the love and warmth He shared with all he touched.

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My little cousin
   with the biggest smile
      I think about you every day
         I don't understand why you had to go away
             You brought us all such love and joy
                 You will always be that wonderful little boy
                    Thank you God for his little boy
                       Now he's the one to fill us with joy!

Steven's brother Andy and I grew up very close. When Steven was born, we were 8 and 9 years old and fascinated with our newborn toy. We were amazed at how we were able to bend his legs and arms into all kinds of positions with him laughing all the time. Bending and stretching became a favorite game.

As he got older, we enjoyed playing sports with him, especially backyard basketball. Steve loved sports and I had the privilege of taking him to his first Jet game, even though it was in the middle of a blizzard!

I have so many wonderful memories of my "little" cousin, including his bachelor party at a Jet game. When I think of him I see his smile and hear his laugh. We will all miss him and the part he played in our family.

I feel as though I have lost my brother. Strobe, you were the best friend anyone in this world could ask for. A big teddy bear, with a warm heart and a smile that lit up the room. We were friends for so long, and shared so many memories together I can't possibly list them here.

I had a son, Anthony Nicholas on November 8, 2001. I know you wanted me to have a girl, but now that I have my boy hopefully your son, Frankie, and Anthony will get to share the same type of relationship we had together. What a shame my son was never blessed by your presence. He will know the great person you were and hopefully I can instill in him all of the great qualities that made you so special.

You were a true friend and a true person, only caring for the things that mattered most in life, not money or fancy cars, but happiness and those around you. I talked to you every day and you brought a smile to my face each time, when the phone rings I wish it was you on the other end. I can't begin to explain how you touched my life, you made me a better husband, father, son, brother and friend. I will never forget all that we shared. I am blessed with a lifetime of memories and thankful for the great times that we had.

I'll love and miss you always!
Your buddy,

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FRIEND. That is the first and foremost way to describe Strobe. He absolutely knew the meaning of friendship. Steve was far more than my broker, he was a true friend, honest and trustworthy. I miss his crackle laugh (tee box on the golf course comes to mind). He had many friends in Chicago and my family and I dearly miss him.

Steve and I started working together in 1994. I was a new trader in Chicago and he was just beginning to get his own customers on the 10 year desk at Cantor. Most traders pick up the phone, make a huge trade, and hang up. I needed much coddling and assistance. We talked on the phone all day without doing even half the size of the usual trades. Steve never whined about our growing pains. He was too busy whining about his Jets. As we grew professionally together, my respect for Strobe grew too. If he made a mistake, he admitted it and dealt with the problem. Unlike many of his peers, Steve didn't jam the error on his customer. After the problem was solved (good or bad), Strobe didn't dwell on it. He moved onto the next trade...although, he still whined about the Jets.

Every now and then, raise a glass, do a shot of Blackhaus to Steve, and bet the over.

I met Steve while I was in the training program at Cantor. Eventually I worked with him for two on the desk. Steve was a truly great person who took the time each day to help me become a better broker. He showed his trust and confidence in me. I miss seeing him arrive at work with the "breakfast of champions" - soda, skittles and rolos; the details of the softball game from the night before; the stories from a local bar; and his heckling with the other guys.

Steve invited me to play golf at his club, took me to Jet games (where his dad cooked up a tailgate feast), and introduced me to his customers. Steve taught me not only about work but also about life. I look back and realize how much I grew as a person because of Steve.

Steve, while I sat next to you at work for over 5 years, I always thought it was strange that you would answer each phone call with, "Hey pal". It wasn't until after I left Cantor that I realized the warmth of that greeting when I called to BS with you. You treat your friends with a generous dose of kindness, enthusiasm, and care which can never be forgotten. I was often amazed and even jealous of the relationship that you had with both your parents. It was much more than just parent/child. It seemed as though they were your best friends as well. I know that you were extremely proud to be their son and almost as proud as they were to be your parents.

For your son, Frankie, I know that even though he was so young when you left us, he will always feel the great love you had for him. I'm certain that between Tara, your mom, dad, brother and friends, Frankie will grow up knowing what a special person you were and how so many people were honored to know you.

Curly, when I think of you, I will remember your big smile, your unselfishness, your passion for life, your unusual breakfast, and the Big Butt trophy. I miss you and thanks.

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Joie de vivre-Steven embodied the spirit of life. We remember him as a young boy with a blond Afro who loved sports, action and people. As a young man, he showed his generosity by bringing his many friends together, by being extremely close to his parents, by sharing life with his lovely wife, Tara, and by becoming a doting father to little Frankie.

In a life so short, Steve lived many joyful moments. Here are some sunshine snapshots of irrepressible Steve:
Playing ball with Grandpa Zaccardi in the backyard of Luhman Terrace;
Taking Grandma Zaccardi's famous roast beef sandwiches to school;
Racing with his older brother Andy in the backyard pool;
Pitching in Little League championship games - win or lose, Steve reveled in the game;
Pushing back from the dinner table, telling his father, a gourmet cook, how great the meal was;
Hosting bashes at the Essex Fells Country Club for his many friends and family;
Playing golf, flying on vacations around the country, cheering the Jets;
Organizing his annual kick-off classic tailgate party with his father doing the cooking and Steve and friends doing the eating;
In his tuxedo, proudly showing off his beautiful bride Tara and his son, also wearing a tuxedo;
Holding young Frankie with a smile of contentment and joy;
Enjoying his last summer with his wife and son on Martha's Vineyard, at the Jersey Shore and in his family's pool.

At every phase of his life, Steve smiled his rakish grin and delighted in life, understanding that life must be savored and enjoyed. And in the process, he made all of our lives more delightful.

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There is a cliché that "youth is wasted on the young" - not in Steven's case. He had three characteristics that usually come only through life experience - perspective, optimism and balance. In Steve's case they came naturally. They helped him make the most of his short life. Because of these characteristics Steve has also had a huge positive impact on those around him. In my case, though I didn't realize it at the time, Steve was a huge influence on what I learned and how I grew as a person during my college years.

Perspective - Steve knew what was really important. I remember being so focused on academic performance that, many times I probably was not the most enjoyable person to be around. Steve certainly had the same pressures. In fact, he probably had more pressure considering the difficulty of the engineering program at BU (Never mind that according to Steve, he chose the School of Engineering because it was listed first on the application). Yet Steve dealt with these pressures differently. Steve knew in the long run that time with friends is far more valuable than making the grade on a test, and he had the wisdom to know that in order to perform well you needed to be relaxed. Steve always seemed to suggest a break for a round of golf or whatever at just the right moment and he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Furthermore, Steve felt that there were a few things we had to accomplish during college aside from the academics in order to say that we had really "lived it" - Spring break in Ft. Lauderdale, all night road trips to Atlantic City, etc. Today I can't remember my GPA, but I remember a hundred days having fun with Steve.

Optimism - I can count the times I remember Steve being in a bad mood on one hand. He was never down. Always smiling. Always looking for the next excuse to celebrate something. And he wanted everybody to be that way. He was a tireless promoter of our annual Super Bowl party, which became a classic campus tradition. Also, he never got bogged down with worrying about what the future held - careers, money, etc. He lived in the moment. Steve was always confident that things would work out best in the end, and he never spent time worrying about elements he couldn't control.

Loyalty - Steve rarely had a negative thing to say about anyone - even people he didn't particularly like. In addition, he didn't have an arrogant bone in his body. He never talked about himself. But, if he was your friend, he was your advocate. I remember that Steve always found it funny that I was from Oregon. He always used that as an excuse to talk positively about me with others - usually with some kind of humorous lead-in involving a childhood spent around farm animals. Ribbing aside, if you were Steve's friend he always made it feel like it was all about you.

These experiences with Steve are positive and lasting. And I miss him. I smile, though, when I think about the last time that I saw him because he was definitely a very happy man. The same characteristics that had been such a positive influence on others during our college years clearly served Steve well as an adult.

Todd Skrinar, friend

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Three words to describe Steven Strobert:

Caring - Everybody plays! There were many times at BU when we were doing different things intramural basketball, pick-up game of hoops, attempting to learn golf. Each of these times, people were playing who were good and others who weren't. What I remember about Steve was his insistence that everybody get a chance to play. This was due to his kindness and the fact that he valued people, not by how good or bad they were, but because they were friends or classmates. We could have won many more intramural games if we fielded the best team-- instead we had the most fun.

Balanced - In our first term at BU, Steve, Justin, Todd and I went out a good bit. For Justin, Todd, and I, it was relatively easy. We were in the school of Management and had a manageable workload. Not the case for Steve in the College of Engineering. Steve would go out with us and come home late at night. I remember one night going to bed about midnight and waking at 3 AM to find Steve up doing his work. He never complained about the workload or hesitated to do things he enjoyed. He was well balanced in how he spent his time and he graduated with an engineering degree. He enjoyed his time at BU. We can't say that about everyone there and certainly not the engineering students.

Optimistic - I have never known anyone who hit a 3-iron as high and far as Steve Strobert. In our early years of learning golf, Steve consistently used his 3-iron and clobbered the ball. I would bet he sent it 230-250 yards without a problem. The question was which fairway did it land on. By the time we went to Myrtle Beach and Florida for our Spring Breaks (driving straight through), Steve had his 3-iron tuned up and he could direct it. He always said the three iron would "show me the way".

Having known Steven for twenty two years, there are many memories I have shared with him. The memory that comes immediately to mind is high school graduation. When the day came for graduation procession practice, the vice principle wanted all seniors to line up in size order, girls and boys separately. Seniors would parade down the aisle for graduation paired off according to height. Steven and I didn't even have to discuss it, we knew we had to find a way to line ourselves up so we'd be paired off for the procession. You see, seven years earlier we had walked down together for sixth grade graduation and we didn't want to break tradition. This isn't a funny memory, maybe not even interesting, but to me, well it's something I'll never forget, walking together with my buddy on two special events in my life.

Now for the funny memory; it was the summer between sixth and seventh grade when Steven had a pool party. We were having a great time splashing around, dunking each other, chicken fights on each other shoulders, just being kids. I had this "great" idea to moon everybody in the pool. I don't know what came over me, it's not something I would normally do, but I had this crazy idea. So we were taking turns doing somersaults in the water which I thought was a great opportunity for me to perform my insane idea but of course I was not counting on Mrs. Strobert coming outside at that very moment to bring us snacks. Oh the embarrassment. And of course, Steven never let me live that one down.

I can't sum up my relationship with Steven in a few paragraphs. I can't express the emotion of each memory I have with him but I do know that I really miss all the nicknames he had for me, the phone calls where he would just say a joke and hang up, having to call him up and constantly remind him of friends/birthdays, and most of all I just miss my buddy.

It is difficult to write a single memoir about Steven as I have so many memories of him. He was always a presence, particularly throughout my grammar school, high school and college years. I remember one summer when I was perhaps 10 or 11 years old, taking tennis lessons at a nearby racquet club. Steven was there - I recall him whacking a few crazy lobs my way. I was barely strong enough to swing the racquet with one hand and he found it hilarious that I couldn't hit the ball into the back court.

After I forgave him and we became friends, I remember many times just being with Steven in class, after school and on weekends. We always had things to talk and laugh about and all the time Steven made me fell completely at ease, just 'hanging with the boys.'

I remember in high school when Steven decided to run for Student Government and somehow he got the whole bunch of us to run with him, making getting involved actually a lot of fun.

I remember receiving letters from Steven after we all went off to our respective colleges - his writing was
so funny. I would just fall over laughing while reading and it would feel like he was just there with me, talking and joking as usual. Even after we didn't see each other as often, I always felt a special bond with Steven. I knew that he would always be there for me as a kind, generous, open-hearted and true friend. As I would be for him.

I guess that's how I know that Steven is still here with us ... he will always live on in our hearts. Sometimes, I can hear his wholehearted laugh - now I take comfort knowing that he is present and that I can still humor him.

The last time I was with Steven we were at the Bienkowski's house for Jason's B-day party. As always, BJ had a piñata for the kids. The two of us were standing up close and watched as each kid tried in vain to break it. We started to laugh when Brian Abramowitz's son, who was the oldest kid there, came up. You had to see Brian's face as Thomas took his cuts. Steven and I were laughing so hard we both had tears in our eyes. Brian's face coupled with Tom taking his swings was priceless. When Steven said to Brian "he's already a better athlete then you!", I doubled over and couldn't breath. I lost it.

When ever I think of him, I always think of that day and how hard we laughed. When ever I saw him he had a smile for me and a "what's up Mike!"

Let me tell you about my friend and I. For some of the most influential years of our lives, the years of our youth, our adolescence, he was my best friend. He was like a brother to me (the one I never had). We went through many of life's passages together on our way to manhood. We did so many things for the first time together. For several of those years we were truly inseparable.

Roughly from the age of 9 until my wedding day, 18 years later, we were together through it all -- and Steve stood up as my best man.

I remember the first time we met after the "track meet" between our two grammar schools. We swam in his pool, ate hot dogs off the grill, played pinball. I was supposed to go to his house for an hour that day we first met and I stayed for 10 hours. He was the only other kid I had ever met with as curly hair as me, I thought that was so cool. In some ways I never left as were to become lifelong friends after that and our curly hair sty les went from 'afros' to crew cuts and everything in between!

When we started going to 'high school we would walk to school together every morning. We walked very, very slowly. Every other group of kids would pass us by on the way, but we did not care. We would talk about the latest Police song (our favorite band), or talk about the history exam (the one we were both going to ace), or talk about our basketball team, or about the Mets, or just about anything.

When we were in the 12th grade we decided to dress up at our senior class Halloween party. We went as two old ladies, complete with the saggy stockings, the hand bags, and the white wigs. I remember it was at least an hour before anyone even knew that it was us dressed up like that . We won first prize that night. We did so much together then. The first person I ever picked up in my car when I got my drivers license, was Steve.
When we first went to college in New England we met for concerts in Boston and went skiing in Vermont. We sent music tapes back and forth, like the soundtrack from the movie Valley Girl, which was one of our favorites. He was there for my 21 st birthday when we drank too much beer, he was there in fact for some of best memories, for nearly 20 years. I was very lucky.

You see my friend was special and I love him. He holds a spot in my life that is irreplaceable, and not just for those years. I now realize what he taught me. Through it all Steven Frank Strobert taught me, as I think he taught all of us, how to be a great friend.
God, he was an amazing friend.

Frank Sette, lifelong friend

Where to start? Well, I met Steven through my husband (Rob), who was one of Strobe's best friends. I have to say Strobe was truly a genuine person. Every single time I spoke to OR saw Strobe he always had a bubbly smile and always something nice to say. I can remember ONLY good times whenever he was around; he left that impression on everyone. Strobe never ever had a mean or negative thing to say about anyone--he always looked at the "bright side" of situations, which everyone who knew him will agree to this. It certainly makes me think differently about life today.

I am now lucky to have developed, over the past few years a very good friendship with his wife, Tara--and of course, I adore little Frankie. It's very comforting having a little "miniature Strobe" around. He is such an adorable, outgoing, happy little boy....

Strobe, I will truly miss that smile and laughter you always had...
I am sure you are making heaven a better place...

xoxo Your Friend,
Debi Costantino

To a TRUE MAN...Strob, I was not in a position to type my thoughts after reading such wonderful tributes. You have touched many people including myself! A few words can never describe you as a person. That terrible day, I ran for blocks to volunteer while staying in touch with Debi and Rob hoping to get word to them or catch a glimpse of you. What drew me there that day were the horrible thoughts of not being able to listen to you on the correct way to hit a golf ball, or watch you make that diving grab to your right in softball, or make stupid side bets of $0.50 cents on whether the ball would be hit to you or me, and most of all being made fun of by you. I understand how much it hurts to lose a father. Now, I feel we have all lost another one ... Don't worry my friend, I am quite sure that everyone will tell little Frankie the incredible heart that he will grow into. I LOVE and will miss you for many years to come ... Minnnow~

It is hard to put a finger on what I will miss about you the most. This Spring when the golf season starts, your absence will be impossible to deny. We have played too many rounds and shared too many drinks for me to ever swing the clubs without feeling your presence on the course. Our Jets-Dolphins rivalry will forever endure. You got the best of me twice more this year. I'll always remember all the golf trips we shared and the laughs at work. You always had a smile and a carefree attitude that I valued so much in our friendship. Know that I am thinking of you and I hope that you and Teddy Brennan are teeing it up on a daily basis. Don't give him too many shots and watch out when he lets a club fly. I miss you.

When Steven was a baby he couldn't say LouAnn or Louie. What he could say was "Nuey," and as we grew he continued to call me that and never stopped. As his neighbor, I often baby-sat him. We would go to the park and he would sit on top of the slide and not come down. If I went the bottom of the slide, he would attempt to go back down the ladder. When I went to the bottom of the ladder, he would attempt to go down the slide. He would do this to me several times because he knew it made me crazy with fear, and it made him giggle.

My husband Albie affectionately called him "little frig," and his father, "big frig."

That summer he brought his wife and son, Frankie, on our boat, the “LuAl." Together with Albie, myself and my father, "Uncle Louie," we had many, many laughs.

I always think of Steven smiling and laughing -- that’s what he did.

LouAnn Rinaldi ("Nuey"), lifelong neighbor / friend.

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To "little frig"

Albie Rinaldi, friend.

Steven was a very generous person and a real fun guy to be around. We would always bust each other on his Jets and my favorite team the Dolphins who are great arch rivals and watching a Jets Dolphin game will never be the same to me anymore. I have so many fond memories of Steven and the foundation put together in his name is such a great tribute to him. The members of the Foundation have done a great job putting together the events and your proceeds have benefited many good causes. Keep up the good work and keep his memories alive. Let him rest in peace in a better place!

It's amazing that 5 years have passed. Over this time, you have come into my mind randomly and without warning. But when I woke up this morning, thoughts/memories of you were stronger than ever before. I laughed today when I thought of our summer in Manasquan where we were roommates and my endless attempts to beat you in Tennis - "the jinx" I will always remember you Strobe.

To My Friend and Brother, No words can say how much we all miss you, your laugh and your bright smile (which was always on your face). You were our rock on the softball team at first base, our fourth in our foursome, our shoulder if we needed one. You are the friend everyone should have in there life. A friend should be molded after you. Everyday you are thought of in my life, my wife and kids too, they ask about you uncle Steve. About who you were and how long we were friends. And I tell them everyday you are a great man. We have known each other since we were the ripe age of 10yrs. old. We were the pitchers for the Rotary Tigers baseball team. I tell them (esp. Aidan) of our infamous golf matches. Where I think you and Paddy sandbagged me and Mario, but besides the point. We always had a blast. You are and will always be sorely missed. So until we meet again my friend and brother, keep the TNT's cold, and keep hitting them straight. I will kick your butt when we meet again.

I wasn't too close to Steve, unlike most of those who have posted something on this site. But I did play ball against/with him in various sports. He was younger than me, but he was quite the competitor and had a slight chip on his shoulder (not a bad one, but a competitive one). I also recall that we played on some All-Star teams together, and remember him as a very good athlete, and a very polite person (I chalk that up to good upbringing, because Mr. Strobert was a very nice man). I also know through an ex-girlfriend, who was his good friend, that was he a great student as well. They both were. I've always admired people who are both jocks AND academics, and he was one of them. (On a lighter note, let the record stand, however, that I want to point out, especially to those who know me, that I had a much better swing and arm in baseball than Steve did, but he always schooled me on the basketball court:::))). Of course, time moves on and I lost touch with many people over the years....until that *&&%ing day. After "the day", I immediately and initially felt nothing but anger...that is, until I found out about some of the people who I knew who were taken from us that day. The anger remained (it is still there...and we shouldn't forget), but it took a secondary seat to sadness for those who I knew, and more so, for their families. I could sympathize with everyone at that point because, although it wasn't due to a terrorist attack, I too lost a brother to an illness well before his time. But, in catching up on the years that passed by, I found that Steve, although working and being successful in a reputable NYC company, still managed to stay true to the Secaucus roots. That was an accomplishment in itself. You could see that in the testimonials from his peer group, both blue and white collar, that Steve never forget his friends, nor where he came from. I admire that, because I've always felt that way too. But reading all of these tributes indicated to me just how much this "kid", who was a few years younger than me, had an impact on others, whether it be lifelong friends or recent associates. I sadly won't likely meet his wife, or son, but they surely don't need my words to understand that the greatest gift you could leave on this Earth when you move on is the impact you leave on others. Based on what has been written about him, and the fact that I am writing something about him 5 1/2 years later, is a good indication of how he continues to touch all of us. I will gladly contribute to this Foundation as long as it is needed. Steve Novello (The better baseball player than Steve, but a much shittier basketball player than him)

Secaucus Reporter "Everybody Loved Steven: Foundation established to preserve name of WTC victim"